the_central_library | [Video Post 1] It would be so nice if something made sense for a change

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[Video Post 1] It would be so nice if something made sense for a change

[Despite the Head Librarian's warnings, Steve had been exploring alone. Not the wisest decision but he didn't want anyone to get hurt while he was trying to get a general idea of the layout of the Library. As he moves deeper into the Fiction area, he notices something that seems a little strange. Telling himself that it's just trick of the light, he continues to move deeper into the stacks. Then the strange motion resolved itself into... Okay, that was weird even by 'aliens' and 'killer robot' standards.

Sliding his bookmark out of his pocket, he sets it to broadcast.]

Does anyone know if there's any wildlife that's native to the Library? I keep seeing weird insects.

[Something strange swoops by and Steve blinks in surprise.]

Or birds? It looked like a bird.

[Kind of.]

And there's a garden somewhere in the stacks.

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[He still isn't certain if Tony really had been flirting but Steve knows that look after spending so much time with his friend. Despite all the good Tony has done, he still seems to think that he still has to pay for the mistakes he's made. His voice holds none of the anger that he'd felt while they'd been fighting Ultron. He sounds more like he had when they had been fighting side by side, cracking jokes and being friends more than teammates]

But not all the time. Sometimes it should get what it wants.

I don't know if the parts live but the rest of them had feathers and they moved around and acted like they were alive.

[He knows that he should tell Tony what he saw. It wouldn't be a show of weakness that he wouldn't allow himself in front of strangers.]

One of them looked like it was made out of a bird cage and it had a bird inside it.

[Which when he puts it into words, sounds creepier than it had really looked.

Shaking his head, he pushes aside the thought along with the questions about his sanity. Checking his surroundings, he starts heading back 'home'.]

We both know you can protect yourself, but I will if you want me to.

[It takes him a moment, a moment to really think about that before dark eyes finally return to Steve's on the screen. A slight furrow in his brow gives away the battle of acceptance versus refusing to believe that as true.]

It all depends on what the cat has done and if forgiveness is real.

[He moves on just as fast not wanting to linger on that thought.] I have to admit, these sounds strange indeed...

[Grinning a little he added.] Quite the conundrum, a bird within the bird, which is really alive and which came first?

Hm... Are you just trying to flatter me after our little rainy day fun?

Edited 2015-07-09 21:08 (UTC)

[Ultron was still a difficult subject but after Steve had had time to think instead of react, he realized that there was more to what happened than what he'd assumed. Tony had created something dangerous but he'd also created someone worthy of Mjölnir.]

Forgiveness is real and what that cat did has been forgiven.

[At least some of it had. Steve was still pushing aside some of it, things he doesn't want to admit to himself or Tony because it would hurt their friendship.]

I was trying to figure out if the cage bird ate the other bird or if they were part of each other.

[Which is weird and creepy. The thought has Steve moving quicker as he heads out of the garden.]

You know I'm terrible at flattery.

[The tablet shows the ground for a few seconds when Steve pauses, looking up at the huge mushroom that he didn't remember seeing when he'd first entered the garden. Before he really could identify the impulse, he took a few pieces of it from different spots along the cap and slipped them into a pocket. Turning the tablet back, he gave Tony a sheepish smile.]

Sorry. There was something interesting I needed to look at. You are not helpless so quit acting like I think you're fragile.

[Tony simply watches Steve, a strange look of curiosity on his face as he considers those words. The idea of Steve forgiving him makes him purse his lips and finally look away.

Best focus on things he can understand being possible and not what makes no sense at all. However, birds inside of birds didn't make much sense even if they amused him.]

But honesty is always the best policy and you are honest as they come.

[Unlike him. And that stuck out starkly in his mind before he noticed the camera panning. His mind dazed out as he saw the surrounding area and soon... he found his mind out of focus as Steve smiled at him. Everything seemed to move fast around him even if he didn't move at all.

And it felt a lot like being shrunken inside of himself before he realized he was not sitting in the same place he was before. Instead, he was leaning over the giant toadstool, chin in his hands, with the table between his elbows. He felt almost like a kid as he peered over the edge at Steve and grinned.]

I never said I thought me fragile, but you think me breakable all the same. Sometimes breaking has to happen for people to grow back stronger... That's why I changed.

"So that means that what I said is true. The cat has been forgiven." It would take time for Tony to believe it but Steve would keep trying to show him that it was true. Maybe when whatever it was that was effecting Tony dissipated he'd be more willing to believe.

Maybe his friend wasn't the only one effected by it...

Steve should have startled at having someone suddenly appear beside him. He should have had the shield ready but instead it seemed perfectly normal for Tony to appear on top of the mushroom and speak in riddles.

"I don't think you're breakable. I know you don't want to do this - " Pausing, he held up his arm to indicate his shield. "Anymore. I'm trying to keep you away from the superhero life. That's not the same as trying to keep you from breaking."

Blinking, he stared up at Tony, feeling the same odd compulsion that had caused him to collect the pieces of mushrooms. He knew what direction led to the safer areas of the Library but he felt that he had to ask Tony if knew the way back. “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

His eyes are almost fond as he almost childishly curled his fingers against his own cheeks, chin still on the heel of his palms. Tony couldn't help but smile as his feet swayed lazily in the air above him. Steve really would forgive him for that? No, it had to be this place getting to him. Still... it sent a warm wave of happiness through him.

"If that is truth, then it would make the cat most pleased." More than pleased. In fact, he would feel a relief that might just uncoil the knots that pained in his chest all the time now.

"Is that why I left? Or is it something else? Sometimes what we see isn't the truth and what we don't see that is." Angling his head, he reached down and softly flicked the shield and nearly purred as it hummed back at him.

Dark eyes rose to Steve's and he arched a brow at that question. "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," He replied smoothly, his fingers softly curling around the edge of the shield and gently pulled to get Steve to come closer.

Steve knew that he shouldn't think it but his first thought as he watched Tony smile and swing his feet was that he looked adorable. He'd never seem his friend look that relaxed and happy. Maybe it wasn't so bad that he'd ended up in the Library if it meant he was that at ease instead of trying to live up to the image the world had of Tony Stark.

"That's the reason you gave us." But now he wondered if Tony had been evading them all, telling them one thing so that they didn't focus on his motives. Steve had just assumed that after so many close calls that Tony wanted out, a wish that he understood even if he doubted he'd ever have that choice.

He was going to ask what that 'something else' was when Tony reached out and touched the shield. The hum of vibranium eased the tension from his shoulders and almost masked the sound that Tony made.

Maybe that was why it was so easy for his friend to maneuver him. Looking up at Tony, Steve had the strangest urge to reach up and brush his fingers over his cheek. "I don't much care where I go."

"True reason isn't always necessarily the logical reason given." His fingertips slipped over the edge of the shield, a shiver running through him as it hummed under his fingers. He always loved that sound. "The heart has reasons that reason doesn't understand."

Meeting his eyes once more, he leaned over the edge closer to Steve as the blonde came to him. "Then it doesn't matter which way you go..." He purred the words to him as he added lowly. "But you could just stay here." Almost without a thought, his hand lifted and just barely grazed blonde hair.

Tony went still, mesmerized by his own boldness before finally retracting his hand and crossing both arms under his chest almost in cat fashion, leaning far too much over the edge. This didn't seem to matter to him, just watching the younger with curious eyes. "Now's a good time for a cat nap... you could join me if you wished."

It was strange how distracting the hum was. Yes, he loved how the lightest touch along the edge could create that sound but it didn't normally scatter his thoughts. It almost kept him from understanding what Tony had said and from asking, "What was the heart's reason?"

The difference in height reminded him of how things had been before the serum. Not the worst parts of it but simply being smaller than the world expected but without the frustrations that had followed him during that time.

"There is nowhere for me to go." The words were spoken softly and almost forgotten when Tony brushed his fingers against his hair. Smiling up at the genius, he almost expected Tony to fall but somehow he managed to stay on top of the mushroom.

A faint instinct warned him that it was a bad idea to agree but it quickly vanished as Steve began climbing onto the mushroom. When he was sure that it wasn't going to collapse under their weight, he scooted over to sit beside Tony. Absentmindedly, he reached out and ran his fingers through dark hair. "Usually you don't want to cat nap."

The genius held Steve's gaze, his thumb nail tapping against the metal almost affectionately. "Not being able to handle being the reason for killing the most important thing in its life." His voice was low, soft and almost off key at points. He lowered his eyes, letting them go out of focus as some sort of memory pulled at the corners of his mind before he snapped back to the present.

"You always have a home with me." He said it fast. Automatically. Like nothing else could be clearer or simpler in the world. But he never would have said that out loud before. Well... he would, but not so plainly. "When you get lost... you can come home." To him. If Steve could even call him home...

Shaking his head, he didn't know if he wanted to hear the answer to that offer. Instead he grinned as Steve climbed up onto the mushroom with him. Turning his body, he shifted until he partially laid across the blonde. Much like before, he curled an arm on Steve's chest and rested his cheek on the back of his hand as he looked up at him.

"Can't think of anything else I want more right now." His eyes drooped slowly, the tiredness seeping in like he could just sleep the day away. "You are very warm." And that made it all the more reasonable for why he needed the good captain as a pillow.

No matter how much Steve wanted to promise that wouldn't happen, that he would stand beside Tony and protect what mattered most to him, Steve knew that he couldn't. He hadn't been able to keep that promise to Peggy or Bucky.

As he struggled to think of something to say, he was blindsided by what Tony offered. Home. Tony was willing to give him what the vision had told him was impossible. For a second he couldn't believe it, ready to deny or refuse. Then he realized who had made that offer. Tony made the impossible happen.

Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

"I want a home with you." As he spoke, gave Tony an amused look while the elder curled up to use him as a pillow. It'd happened often enough in the Tower when Tony passed out from lack of sleep that Steve knew how to shift into just the right position.

"Then sleep. You need it." So did he. Pulling his shield off the gauntlet, he set it close enough that he could grab it easily before relaxing beneath Tony. Idly, he began playing with the hair at the back of Tony's neck. "That's why I'm the perfect pillow."

Tony grinned, full on, bright and unrestrainably wide. Leaning in, he touched their noses softly without even thinking about it. "Good." Because he had wanted to tell Steve that for a good long while now... but never had the bravery to do so. So maybe whatever this place was doing to his head wasn't such a horrible thing after all.

Nestling in closer to Steve, he let his eyes close as a low rumbling purr began to roil in his chest from the feeling of that hand on the back of his neck. "So do you, you always do... real sleep, not the kind you pretend is sleep." Having PTSD of his own tended to make him just as bad when it came to sleep. Not that he ever saw Steve sleep, but he could tell from watching him. Once Jarvis even asked about Steve's inability to sleep. Tony simply said nothing, not wanting to pry.

Now, he felt no shame in saying what he thought, if in a strange way. "Perfect pillow, perfectly good... you are perfect in all the ways that count in my imperfect mind." Perfect was a word Tony fought for, but knew he could never have. In everything from his work... to the person his heart fluttered for at the worst times.

His eyes crossed slightly when Tony touched his nose to his. For some reason he didn't understand, Steve reached up and gently rubbed a spot behind one of Tony's ears.

There were times when his friend had reminded him of a cat. He could get the same offended looks and be just as fussy as the alley cats that Steve had befriended as a kid. That made the purr seem almost normal, soothing away whatever concerned he might have until his thoughts started drifting so he could barely keep track of them.

"Only if you try to get some real sleep too." The words sounded slightly slurred as dodging nightmares for so long began to catch up with him. Tony was right. It was warm. Warm enough that Steve knew he wouldn't dream of cold water or ice.

"'M not perfect." Yawning wide enough that his jaw popped, he gently scritched Tony's scalp. "Your mind isn't imperfect. If it is, it's perfectly imperfect. Just right for you." And for Steve since Tony was willing to give him something so important, a place when no one else had even hinted at offering him one. Maybe the vision was wrong and he could come home. "You're pillow is going to fall asleep soon."

God that felt heavenly. Why did it feel so good for Steve to rub just behind his ear? His whole body seemed to lean into it and the rumble in his chest only grew more pronounced as he hummed his approval. Yes... he could deal with this. Definitely.

"I can do that." After all, he did invite Steve to sleep to begin with. And he partially planned to put weight on the younger to be sure he'd have to wake him up to get away. It was just the absolute best plan in his mind... it helped that Steve felt so deliciously warm to him.

"You are to me." The words purred out softly, almost a whisper against Steve's chest as he nuzzled in closer, eyes closed. How long had he thought that? Probably when they worked together to repair the hellicarrier... or maybe even just before that. Sometimes he could still remember that hot touch to steady him when the spell snapped about them with the explosion of the engine. It really didn't matter when.

Purring more at this, he smiled even as he started to drift off. "That is the intent, my blue eyed hero." Teasing softly, he found he liked that description of his own mind. He liked it more coming from Steve. "Sleep... not going anywhere..." Maybe falling asleep was the only to get him to stop the silly riddlish that infected his way of talking...

Closing his eyes, he continued petting dark hair, smiling at how it curled around his fingers. He always preferred when Tony looked less like the media image and more like the guy that danced around the workshop to rock songs that Steve had finally begun to recognize. It was easier to talk to that version of Tony than the version of the genius that dealt with public.

Or he usually did... the riddles were a little weird but still someone he could talk to without feeling out of place.

Chuckling when Tony decided to pin him, he pretended to let out an annoyed 'humph' when his friend's weight settled on him. His hand stilled for a moment when the Tony spoke before he kept playing with the curls at the back of Tony's neck. If his hearing hadn't been improved by the serum, he might not have caught it but the words caused an flutter in his chest.

Somehow Tony kept reminded him of who he was supposed to be. Not the soldier or the hero but Steve Rogers. And that person was perfect to Tony. Just like Tony had become perfect to him, strengths and flaws important to the whole. Maybe he'd found home and hadn't realized it and that was why everything relating to Ultron had hit so hard.

Curling an arm around Tony, his breathing slowed and he had the feeling that the nightmares wouldn't show up this time. "G'night, Tony."

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[Video Post 1] It would be so nice if something made sense for a change

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